Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Caught in the Act

Romi: the bloody idiot!

Oma: hey, Romi…

Faiza: what’s biting you?

Romi: that sucker…that fool…that…

Yinka: hey relax! What happened? You are just coming in and you are sweating…what’s wrong?

Romi: gosh! I can’t believe I actually trusted that son of a bitch.

Oma: Charles?

Romi: mmhmm!

Yinka: what did he do?

Romi: I just caught him…only a few minutes ago, fucking his secretary!

Faiza: woooo!

Oma: holy shit!

Yinka: that’s so untidy.

Romi: tell me about it!

Oma: awww Romi, I’m so sorry to hear this.

Faiza: what could possibly have possessed him?

Yinka: his dick, maybe.

Faiza: Yinka! This is not the time for your sauciness o!

Yinka: come on! We all know men think with that long turgid instrument. They’ve got no other brains.

Romi: I agree! I swear if I had a knife, I would have cut that thing off!

Oma: you go girl!

Faiza: Oma!

Yinka: unless a man takes himself seriously, I don’t see why we should see them beyond what they are.

Romi: aaargh!

Faiza: Yinka, you are not helping matters this way. Romi is only going to get angrier.

Yinka: well, that’s the point you get to before you find meaning to the madness in the dating world.

Romi: I’m just so mad!

Oma: what exactly did you see, Romi?

Faiza: you want details, Oma? Like how long the ‘thing’ is? If the silly woman was screaming?

Oma: no nah, just facts.

Romi: he was moaning like a cow!

Oma: like a satisfied cow or a frustrated one?

Faiza: Oma!!

Yinka: haha! And the most annoying part is you are not sure how long this must have been going on. Ah well, I did tell you there was something ‘not right’ about him the first time we met, didn’t I? He was staring lustfully at Oma.

Romi: really? None of you told me that.

Faiza: it wasn’t necessary; besides everyone stares at Oma and her lewd way of dressing.

Yinka: he looked too long; right down her cleavage, salivating.

Romi: aaaaaarrgh!

Oma: no need to get madder, it was a long time… and nothing happened.

Faiza: oh Oma! Did you have to convince us of that?

Oma: ah! So that she doesn’t think…

Faiza: oh just shut up, Oma! Romi, what can we do to make this easier?

Yinka: burn his wardrobe maybe; along with all his splendid Italian suits.

Faiza: Yinka!

Yinka: It’s therapeutic.

Faiza: ugh! You are so impossible!

Oma: what do you plan to do, Romi?

Romi: I don’t know.

Yinka: I’ve got a couple of solutions that just might help…

Oma: we are all ears!

Yinka: first, you need to go shopping…

Faiza: shopping?

Oma: I like the sound of that. Yay!

Yinka: get yourself some really sexy stuff

Oma: you’ll be buying from me. I’ve got all you need in stock!

Yinka: also, you need to get to your apartment and get rid of everything that remotely reminds you of him.

Oma: true!

Yinka: thirdly, do a bit of flirting with some hot guy in town…

Faiza: Yinka, that is very indecent…

Yinka: no commitments, just harmless flirting with Mr. gorgeous.

Romi: hmmmm!

Yinka: lastly, remember that salsa lessons you wanted to start sometime back but never got around to? This is the time, girl.

Oma: wooooo! Way to go!

Romi: I don’t know…

Faiza: it’s not going to be easy dear, but I’m sure you’ll pull through.

Romi: thanks guys.

Yinka: you welcome, anytime.

Oma: one more question; um, was she on top of him? Was it doggy style? Froggie? Touch your toes?

Faiza: Oma oooo!!

Romi: she actually had his dick inside her mouth.

Faiza: eeeeewwww!

Yinka: now, that’s some hot loving.

Oma: hope you used to give him some of that too?

Romi: of course! I licked that fool like he was ice-cream!

Yinka: now, that makes it even worse.

Romi: psheww!

Faiza: why, for the love of humanity, will I have a man’s penis inside my mouth?

Oma: ha! You mean you are not giving Oga some?

Faiza: God forbid! Does he ‘give me some’?

Yinka: jeez, you both are so boring.

Oma: hmm Faiza, are you sure he is not getting some…

Faiza: hey! Hold your mouth right there, Oma!

Yinka: essential question, Faiza.

Faiza: I have my ears closed; I don’t want to hear it.

Yinka: ok, suit yourself. Denial drives away insanity, after all!

Faiza: whatever!

Romi: bingo!

Oma: what?

Romi: his SUV is parked at my house.

Oma: cool…

Yinka: deflate all tyres.

Romi: tehe!


FFF said...

lol. dis oma sef! just realized now dat all d characters r females o

NoLimit said...

Don't deflate the tires...dismantle the car and sell the parts!
I'm enjoying this!

Myne Whitman said...

LOL@Nolimit, this is hilarious. Too bad for Romi.

nyemoni said...

Se you are still doing your thingie!! How are you dearie?