Romi: I’m broke!
Yinka: that’s no news; you’ve been out of work for months.
Romi: out of work?
Yinka: yea. You don’t come around my office anymore to sell your perfumes. How are you going to make any money sitting down?
Romi: but I have to be at my shop…
Yinka: your kiosk you mean, that 90% of your customers don’t know about. Be real girl. Who’s going to come all the way to Festac to get a bottle of perf?
Faiza: Yinka is right, Romi. You used to love hawking your perf around, moving from one bank to the other; now you don’t even bother.
Romi: but I’m getting old nah…
Yinka: at what age? Hahahaha! Jor don’t make me laugh.
Romi: moving from one end of Lagos was only for a season; I was supposed to outgrow that season and be more stable.
Yinka: then you have to find ways of reinventing your biz..
Yinka: ask Oma. She sells everything imaginable on the planet…
Oma: wetin? Lol! I love the hustle, Romi doesn’t.
Yinka: give her a little tip on how to survive as a hustler in Lagos.
Oma: I just do my bit. I can’t be everywhere so I leave my complimentary card with prospects.
Romi: but I do the same. Na wa. I think perfume business is the worst hit in this recession…
Yinka: then what will you say of my own line of career. No one is bothered with advertising anymore. They strongly believe in word-of-mouth…
Faiza: what about my own line of business? My husband has cut my house allowance incredibly.
Yinka: sorry o, housewife…
Yinka: whatever happened to that small business you were trying to start a while back?
Faiza: did I not tell you that he hissed and told me it was ridiculous selling provision and stationary? Wetin I go do?
Yinka: you will continue to pester him, that’s what you must do.
Faiza: easy for you to say, you are not married.
Yinka: we have all had men at one point in our lives Faiza…
Oma: and still do!
Yinka: …so unless you tell us your husband is from mars…
Faiza: marriage is different please. Now he owns you….
Faiza: yes. He has paid your dowry and you bear him children…
Yinka: gosh, you sound like something from the 60s.
Yinka: how can a man own you to the extent you don’t know what you are or how you want your life to be?
Faiza: at least I am married….
Oma: and unhappy!
Faiza: whatever! At the end of the day, that is what defines a woman.
Romi: biko, remove me from that equation.
Oma: me too!
Yinka: Lol! Ah! you ladies won’t kill me.
Faiza: all the fashion and money and career mean nothing without a husband…
Yinka: are you trying to console yourself?
Faiza: me ke! You are the ones that are incomplete.
Romi: oh enough of this rubbish, Faiza! If nothing else I know you wish you had half the spirit Yinka has. She walked out on a promising marriage proposal with one of the hottest bachelors in town because he was trying to make her live his life even after a son together.
Faiza: How heroic. Yinka acts like she’s got a penis.
Oma: hahahahahaahaha! Eh! Faiza! When will you ever change? All these years as friends still you are so…
Faiza: so what Oma? Eh, so what? Don’t get me angry this afternoon o.
Yinka: ladies! ladies! no need to draw blood over issues. Truth is, whatever rocks your boat, please roll with it, yes?
Romi: after all this spit flying everywhere, I’m still broke o. Yinka jor, I need you to borrow me some money…
Yinka: ah! why me?
Romi: why not you?
Yinka: my son’s going back to school next week o. and you know that his school fees are back-breaking.
Romi: Faiza can you help?
Faiza: did I not just tell you that my husband cut my allowance into shreds?
Oma: how much do you want?
Romi: erm, N25k.
Oma: ah! I don’t have that much o. I’ll give you 15.
Romi: thank you.
Oma: but you’ll wait till the end of the week. I have some money to collect from one of my customers. He bought bras, over ten for his girlfriend and told me to try them on.
Oma: he said we were the same bust size.
Faiza: and you tried them on, abi?
Oma: yes nah.
Yinka: and he had to watch you try them on.
Oma: ah! It’s not like I had sex with him nah. He was buying in large quantities.
Oma: abeg o! free me.